Beyond the Tantrum: Understanding Your YoungChild's Mental Health by Shaquana Smith
When a young child cries over something that seems small, struggles with transitions, or has difficulty calming down, it can be challenging for a parent or caregiver to know how to respond.
You may wonder, “Why is this such a big deal?” or “How many times do I have to explain this?”
But what if we looked beyond the behavior and considered what the child might be experiencing?
Children do not always have the words to explain what is happening internally. Their behavior may provide clues about their emotional experiences.
How Caregivers Can Support Emotional Well-Being
1. Name the emotion.
Help children connect words to feelings. Try saying, “You look disappointed because playtime is over,” or “You seem frustrated that the blocks fell.”
2. Offer connection and co-regulation.
Use a calm voice, predictable responses, and a reassuring presence. Children often need adult support to settle before they can talk through a difficult moment.
3. Maintain appropriate boundaries.
Validating a feeling does not mean allowing every behavior. You can say, “It's okay to feel angry. It's not okay to hit. Let's find another way to show your anger.”
4. Create predictable routines.
Consistent expectations around meals, bedtime, transitions, and separations can help children feel more secure.
5. Make room for play.
Play offers opportunities for children to explore experiences, practice social skills, express feelings, and build relationships with trusted adults.
6. Take care of the caregiver, too.
Supporting a child's emotions can be exhausting. Caregivers deserve patience, practical support, and opportunities to manage their own stress.
When Should You Seek Additional Support?
Consider speaking with your child's pediatrician or an early childhood mental health professional if emotional or behavioral concerns are persistent, intense, developmentally unexpected, or interfering with everyday activities, relationships, sleep, play, or participation in childcare.
You can also ask for guidance if you feel overwhelmed, are unsure how to respond, or simply want to support your child's development.
This Early Childhood Mental Health Awareness Month, let's remember that children's mental health deserves attention long before a problem becomes a crisis.
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